Deflated Crush

Posted: November 20, 2013 in Poem
Tags:


loves-me-loves-me-not

I have led myself astray
so tangled i have lost my way
like how my hair blows in the wind and refuses to stay
In alignment with the wishes of my day

he is not interested in me I realized today

I ask him out he declines
I call he refuses to pick up or return
It is my heart he now spurns

So I pick up chess and play
Hoping that maybe someday
He will come to his senses and say
Hey Gen let’s go out and play

BUT NO – NOT TODAY

I am told to go for money
I don’t find that even remotely funny
I can carry myself
What I cannot do – is put my heart on a shelf

This momentary man
This blink in a lifetime
Made me feel
Made my heart real

But now I cry
as I try
to get my point across
without frightening away

My mother, of course, thinks he’s gay
She’s good that way


NO EXCUSES

No more tear jerking self-abuses

I must move on
Why do I try to even hold on?!
What loyalty I have for fictitious ideals
When did I drink the grape Kool-Aid, seriously,  for real?

There are plenty of fish in the sea
This is what everyone tells me

So fine then,
My tears are saline
I shall slip into this river
And see and be seen

It is what it is – but it can’t be what he won’t.

So this day – I say goodbye
this crazy bitch needs closure – I’m not even sure why
I think it’s because I am making room for another to try

and Look at that
I have already met 2
Who knows it may be one of you

That kicks my heart in gear
Perhaps I will get lost in your stare
Passionately kiss away our fear

The adventure of the unknown is worth
The pain of leaving this dream behind
One thing we are guaranteed to run out of – is time
Although I wanted to give him mine
He has shown me every sign
That our hearts are malaligned

but I have to say thank you
for jump starting mine

No hard feelings

No ill-will

On to the next epic thrill

😛

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